Season Standings
Team Recaps
WHICKEY KICK vs. FIND THE HOLE – A Match-up for the Ages
This past Wednesday saw two old adversaries face off on the kickball diamond. Whiskey Kick a.k.a. The Good Guys against Find the Hole a.k.a. The Jerkface McGradys. But before I get into who did what and to whom I want to talk for a minute about Crosby.
I know what you’re thinking; Kev-Kev, don’t you mean Cosby that hilarious story-telling comic of the 1980’s? No I don’t. I mean Crosby, our team mascot. Have you seen this fucking dog? Because let me tell you right now, you haven’t seen a dog before you’ve seen Crosby. This dog is fucking adorable. He is so insanely pettable that you’ll wonder why you’ve ever sullied your hands petting those other sundry dogs before. I’ve seen him heal the infirm with just a wag of his tail. He restored a blind man’s vision by licking his eyes. THIS DOG IS FUCKING AMAZING!!!
Everything in your life leading up to you petting and hugging Crosby is complete and utter bullshit. Here’s a list of things that are meaningless until you pet Crosby:
Learning to drive –Who cares
Graduating High School/College – so what
First loves – blah blah blah
Losing your virginity – who hasn’t
Marriage – this is an outdated Judeo-Christian concept meant to enslave the masses
Your first drink – okay this is the only one that comes close.
The first time you killed a man with your bare hands in the dead of winter to get his coat, because without it you’d freeze to death - boooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrring
Buying your first car/house – not in this economy
The second time you kill a man with your bare hands because he looks like he may be moneyed – been there done that
All that stuff is crap, seriously it is utter bunko. Do you have a bucket list? You do? I don’t even want to get into the morbidity of having a bucket list in your mid-twenties to thirties range, I’ll just say it’s kind of sad. Okay now take that bucket list, what’s on it? Let me guess:
Sky-diving – for sissies
Scale the pyramids of Macchu Picchu – look at someone else’s pictures
Go to China – I won’t even dignify this one
Visit the red light district of Amsterdam – okay keep this on the list and see if you can bring Crosby
Stab a random stranger – this one is so over done it’s pathetic
Write a novel/screenplay/book of poetry – whatever you’ve started, delete it. I guarantee you it is crap
Visit Wrigley Field – just go to the store and buy some Wrigley’s Gum, it’s just as unfulfilling
Okay now take that bucket list and cross every one of those things off. Then you get your fucking ass over to a Whiskey Kick game and you pet this god damn dog. Look at that, isn’t his fur so darn soft. Don’t you just want to squeeze him and hold him…oh he’s licking my nose…stop it Crosby that tickles. He’s such a scamp that Crosby.
Wag, wag, wag his tail goes and you can’t help but be happy. Because this dog is SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT IT IS MORE CONTAGIOUS THAN BIRD FLU!!! I know what you are thinking now, “Yeah Kev-Kev everybody thinks they’re own dog is the best.” Guess what suckers you’re wrong. HE IS NOT EVEN MY DOG!!! I’m just a HUGE fan.
So in closing; Cosby is the fucking tits, and all other dogs are less than canine because of it. Oh and Whiskey Kick lost 9-5 to The Jerkface McGradys. ‘Twas a sporting affair and so we went ahead and had some big kicks by Kellen Oberts, Addison Bath. Some nice defense by Chris Birdsall, Adam Benham , Ryan Adams, and Rachel Mizrahi. A big catch by Mallory Oberts and some great base playing by Connor Murphy and Alex Mueller. As always the Murphy Sisters made their presence felt by all; Ashley through her quiet dignity and Mel with her can do attitude and Caps Lock is always on voice. Plus everyone, and I do mean everyone played tough on offense.
Next week it’s Brother vs. Brothers as the match-up I asked not be put on the schedule was actually put on the schedule because Val is sick and twisted. Whiskey Kick vs. Los DPs and that means it’s Kevin and Ryan vs. Adam. Forty-three e-mails I sent to Val all saying the same thing; “Please don’t make me play against Los DPs, Adam is like my brother and I cannot, nay will not take up arms against my own brother.” She sent me one e-mail when the schedule came out- “Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!” That’s just straight up evil shit right there that is. Whatever, we persevere; okay come on Crosby let’s go cure some lepers, say goodbye. He just went “ruff!” That means goodbye in dog. THIS DOG IS AWESOME!!!
Hot Box
Hot Box had a hot game with the ladies of the Box putting in some serious defensive work!! Props to Jen Morra (2 catches) Kasey Shuda, Tracy Steinhauser, and Stephanie Singletary all who had amazing catches on third! Also shout out to Jon Morra who scored two home runs! Box ended up winning 7-2.
Balls Deep: 12
Two Girls, One Base: 1
Since we don't have much to say about the game, here is a video to keep you busy.
Post Game Fun at Brennan's
Summer 2011 Board Members
(or the people you can yell at when you're angry)
Seasons in WAKA: 7
Favorite WAKA Memory: Going 0-8 in the regular season,
winning playoffs plastered, and getting a bid to Founders Cup
Favorite Drink: Hairy Bitch
Seasons in WAKA: How about years? 6 years...6 years of CA Studio (Valley Girls and currently DFU), 1 season in CA Star (Valley Girls Girls Girls), 1 season in CA Junction (Cagey Bees) and a few seasons in Dogtown (Frostly Libations, "Kicking Wings" and currently with Toot It and Boot It)
Favorite WAKA Memory: Founders Cup 2008...the first time it was held in Vegas. My team the Valley Girls brought our entire team...all 21 of us to the tournament and took on the more competitive teams of the East Coast who only brought their top 11 or so players. We were seeded pretty high...I think it was top 10...we didn't really live up to our seeding since halfway through the round robin round we decided to start flabongoing (beer bong shaped like a flamingo) while running the bases. The Florida team we were playing didn't like it too much but whatever...we were having fun. We ended up making it to the elimination round but was eventually knocked out because we were pretty much drunk at this point. But it was for the best since we headed to the beer garden and started one of the best flip cup sessions WAKA has ever seen! All the beer chugging eventually led to a impromptu slip and slide session, T-Shirt exchanging and cart stealing. We might of ended up on the strip somewhere, but I can't remember...what I do remember is the "World's Biggest Flip Cup" Tournament at Tropicana the following day where my team placed in the top 8 in the "Nation" (64 teams). Good times
Favorite Drink: Water...seriously.
Name: Julie Fei ("JFei"), Charity Chair
Seasons in WAKA: 5 years, 12+seasons, 3 leagues
(Dogtown's the best!)
Favorite WAKA Memory: meeting my husband
(or lucha libre night-see photo)
Favorite Drink: Nutty Girlfriend
(rum, amaretto, diet coke)
Seasons in WAKA: is my 3rd...or 4th if you count when we played 2 seasons at once lol
Favorite WAKA Memory: Kicking ass and winning last season on SMK!
Favorite Drink: A nice cold brewski - especially Fat Tire
or Hangar 24's Orange Wheat
Seasons in WAKA: this is my second season as a player;
at least 6th season as a WAKA groupie
Favorite WAKA Memory: : performing our scoring celebration song with my Suck My Kleates teammates and our AWESOME end of season party at Busby's West
Favorite Drink: Whiskey and coke - light on the coke please ;o)
Seasons in WAKA: Too many. I think 5.
Favorite WAKA Memory: Taylor.
Favorite Drink: The next one.
Seasons in WAKA: 10th Season in Dogtown
Favorite WAKA Memory: : My very first season: our team (Happy Endings), a #8 seed, knocking off the 1st seed (Pink Tacos) in the first round of the playoffs, after wining only 1 game the whole regular season...
Favorite Drink: Vodka soda
Seasons in WAKA: I think 20+ at this point
Favorite WAKA Memory: : My first all-star game selection way back when
Favorite Drink: The one you buy me
Missing: Scott Garcia, Social Committee
Charity Information
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